Boom Pow.

Hello world.

My last post was a bit depressing but who doesn't get that way sometimes, especially during a time like this.

Since then I have been to church and brunch with a dear friend. We have decided to keep that going monthly, just to keep in touch and catch on on life....of course it was in Jersey....

I have changed my hair color. My hair is naturally brown and now its pitch black, and since i'm successfully growing my hair out, it looks good (it would look good regardless, but you know what i mean).....a subtle change is always good for me, heck, good for anyone. def lifts my spirits a bit :)

I have been hitting the gym like a maniac and really getting into my boxing circuits. I designed them to kick my ass, and they do. whenever i feel like stopping or throwing up, my old head trainer friend pops in to check on me, make sure im alive then tells me to keep going.....and i keep going. It doesn't hurt when one buys workout clothes and sneakers very often. whenever i get in a rut, i buy a new shirt or shorts or something, just to spark something up again....

I am currently on the hunt for a new job just in case i get laid off by the beautiful state of New Jersey.....which i do not mind at all because i dislike where i work. They are a couple developmental centers opened in the state, they are closing two and those people need somewhere to go....so they're coming to my center. Before news of the layoff hit the masses, i accepted a position in the psychology department and i thought everything was a go, until i never got my actual start date in this new position......of course the higher-ups knew everything was about to be on a freeze but they still "gave" people positions without giving them the position. I was so excited and had a lot of hope then I get word, basically saying you're gonna stay in your current title, most likely get bumped out of your position by someone with more seniority. And me getting bumped means bumped out of a job, instead of bumped into a lower title/position. As much as i don't like working for the state, a job is a job.....

I digress.

My debts are going all the way down :)

I have no store cards with a balance. Since i live at home, rent free......all i have is my phone bill and school loans..plus monthly stuff like little groceries here and there and putting gas in whatever vehicle i decide to drive. i am greatful my parents overstand the struggles of young people and they dont like to see their children suffering if they dont have to. the only suffering i endure is the rules of the house and everyone knowing exactly where i am at every minute of the day....my schedule doesnt change anyways.

gym, food, hygiene, chores, nap, work.

Thats it. 

antiwho, enough rambling.

hopefully ill write more with some interesting topics....

C*

And So.....

I may just be the worst blogger ever.

I should be blogging more because I really dont have much to do and i have a lot of things on my mind....

I have come to the realization that i have anger issues. its mostly due to the position im in with living in the forbidden state of Pennsylvania. I just hate it soooooo much. 

I've gotten too comfortable. my schedule usually goes something like this:

btwn 6am-7am Wake up

btwn 7am-8am Take my ass to the gym

btwn 9am-1030am eat,shower,nap

145pm get ready to go to work

3-1130p work BLAHHHHHH

Go home and sleep and do it all again the next day.

I dont go out, i have zero social life. My friends are more like acquaintances now which is upsetting. It sucks losing those connections especially when one is trying to keep them.

My social interaction usually comes from someone in my immediate family, mainly my sister Cane. the people i work with are a lot older and i really dont entertain them. 

^That contributes to my anger^

other contributions include not having constant positive energy around.

When i went to Kean, living on my own, i was able to do pretty much whatever i wanted without someone up my butt 24/7 making sure im safe and sound in the comforts of a house and watchful eye (mom). I didnt have to answer to anyone, i always had something to do, i always had someone around with encouraging words. whenever i felt like doing absolutely nothing or get down on myself, there was someone there to say...."no, diane. this is not the time to be mopy. Just do what you have to do"....out here, living with my parents, there isnt much inspiration or positivity motivating myself to do anything. right now im just letting life pass me by. I watch people i grew up with or graduated college with and im jealous bc they're making the lives they want.....great job, own place, better vehicle than mine, engaged, or taking the next big steps in life.....and im just here.

I know its up to me to change things but when you have constant downers who discourage every decision you want to make by pointing out all the negatives that may arise with that situation, its so easy to just give up and thats what i been doing. 

The psychologist in me says i go through bouts depression at least three times a year. the gym and running dont excite me at all. 

Plus i have the worst attitude and my anger is at an all time high. but i truly believe this happens to every one at some points in life.....it just happens to me a little more than some.

anyways, enough of my rambling......

here are to random pictures that make me happy

Me and my uncle thats my cousin going to a wedding (left) and the beach in the bahamas from October

Enjoy the day lads....

C*

Sicky McSick Sick

The title of this post is my usual language on a daily basis....for some odd reason adding "Mc" to words make them sound better and I like it, so i does it.

And as you all can probably guess, yes I am getting sick or I am already sick.

I can never really tell.

I do know my throat is on fire and I just drank my first cup of ginger tea for the day, with more to come (and soup too).

So whats new in life?

I finally figured out how to view my paystub and get my tax information via the state of nj website (so complicated) so hopefully next week, i'll be able to get my taxes done and out of my hairs and get this money the government owes me.....speaking of hairs.....

Im growing mine back as along as i possibly can. i cut it short and i loved it but now that im not getting perms anymore (and necessarily going natural either), i dont think im comfortable with short hair so im growing it out. so far so good. I went to the salon on wednesday and my hair dresser said my hair wasnt bad at all for it being so short and me sweating all the time and wearing ball caps to work almost on a daily, my hair is still in good shape......speaking of shape....

(i like what im doing here...do you see it....)

Im still working out like mad, increasing my weights, im mos def seeing a change in my body. im tall and slim plus i run long distances, so pairing that with weights is a great look. im not too "bulky" or anything, more so getting toned. my shoulders and arms especially. i like working them bc i love the compliments i get :) my thighs will always be thick. whether i work them or not. Im trying to work on my legs now....get my calves together, but with running, they stay super slim....and my abs...smh. i can do every ab exercise in the world but as you know (and i know), abs are made in the kitchen. and Im slowly but surely cutting out junk food. im cutting my j.f. intake to once a month. then ill start decreasing more from there. hopefully by summer, my midsection with thin out bc i think i just look lopsided, with everything being slim but my ab area. 

ummm

my parents are in Dominica, have been all week, coming back tmrw.

kinda excited but not really. its been nice just having the house with my brother and sister. Just being able to chill and relax without repercussion. 

something i found on tumblr.
Yes i tumble.


Hope everyone has a happy mchappy Friday
:)
C*

Randoms

Belmar in September

New years eve

Sambuca shots on the cruise......

it is

The new year is here already. I havent been on here in a while..... a long while.  I had a great christmas and new year celebration.
Work is still work. Working for the state has its good days and bad but usually im mostly not looking forward to going in but i will say im glad im in the position i have bc some people dont even have a job, so fortunate. Im still debating a career change, and overall overhaul of life.....where im at. I feel like my life is in buffer mode.
Hopefully i will be able to put more content out and i have a life so i can update. I love writing, i miss writing so i def need to get back to it. Even if no one is really interested......


C.

here.

Im alive. Its true. 

Working at a new job and currently looking for another. I am never satisfied and i quite frankly thinknim wasting my time bc im jot using my brain power and im too smart to get paid to do nothing. I might as well sleep the day away.

In other news im still working out but i am actually starting to change my diet which def needed to be done. Eating the foods i ate on top of my ever changing moods made life sad and depressing but once i starting cutting out certain foods, i started feeling a tad better and my body feels tighter ;)

Ummmm i still have my green hornet, he still going strong but ill hopefully save enough to get a better vehicle by my birthday in june so i got a couple months to save save save.

My life just consists of working and trying to have some kind of life which is difficult when one lives with their overbearing,sexist parents. Life is just harder than it needs to be. I keep telling myself changes in my overall life need to be made but i just feel like im at a standstill. 

The Life.

C*

24

as you have probably figured out....i am 24 years old now.

my sister and i usually dont do much for our birthday because our friends are busy and always everywhere else but this year i really wanted to shake my buns among other thangs.

My sister, and our bestie drove out to Jersey to do what we do best. we went out to one place and lets just say it was WAYYYY too ratchet to our liking.....girls wearing sneakers in the club????

i dont understand. When u go out, i thought you were supposed to look extra nice, even bougy.....not come in lookin how you look on a regular basis......so we bounced outta there quick because Mister C of Hot 97 was on deck and wasnt helping the cause....plus it was still early but i honestly didnt want that place killin my vibe.

So then we hit up another spot, literally steps away and at first, we were like "Eh, theres nobody here, but ppl looked like they were having fun...." so we just said "f" it and made the best of it and Boy, was it a nite. one of my jersey girls/ace's that came out was just handing my sis and I drank after drank. i honestly didnt mind it because i NEVER go out anymore and i wasnt driving back home

:)

Random: you know how they say "All the single ladies, hands in the air!!!!" well outta all my friends, i was the only one single which felt super awkward and a tad depressing.

:(

basically danced the night away and ended up falling flat on my face/ass mostly because of the frickin' foam, which is cool but i wasnt prepared for at all. i def felt like i had a concussion but my sister said it wasnt that bad. i def think the alcohol made it worser.

i also literally ran to the car in six inch heels which is remarkable after dancing all night. i dont know how i managed to do it. i kinda felt like when i was running the half marathon.....it hurt when i stopped, so i just didnt until i got to my destination.

Overall I had a great birthday with friends, after not seeing them in forever. Im thankful they took the time out to enjoy it with my sister and I.

C*