April 30, 2009


I do not know what to write about today. actually, i do but im not going to because its one of "those things" that shouldnt concern otha kats than the ones i truly trust and thats about three ppl including the kat that its dealing with. And imma leave it at that.

March of Dimes last Sunday was very successful. Hot as all fire walking five miles in scorching heat at only 10 in the AM (87 degrees). But i made it out alive b/c thats what i do, plus there was free food:)

Wrote all seven of my papers and i feel liberated but now im bored. stuck straight studying everything all the while not really getting any sleep for whatever reason...thinking about this summer and how exciting im gonna try and make it for myself.thinking about that 'guap:) and funnel cakes from the seafood festival at belmar where there is sure to be motorcycles at*

i have a snoopy planner:)

On my photography joint....with my digital camera.takin pics of any- and every- thing except for worms [EWWW]

JOEBUDDEN TV will get me cussin' again....but i will not budge.

April 25, 2009


2day is saturday, soon to be sunday in a couple of hours---i dnt know why this is even relavent...

why do my grls insist on givin out my digits to kats? i dnt understand.....(i lie) and dese aint no young kats etha....25, 26 y.o. kats......i dnt mind it sometimes but when kats is randomly textin me askin how im doin. imma respond with the obvious 'who you holmes?' yea im chillin, listenin for bikes, and finishin up these last papers so i could go outside and look for these bikes......speakin of,,,,,

i was drivin on 22 as a study break and there was two bikes in front of the car i was in front of. SOOOO u know me, hop,skip,jump, pass this fool so i could get to the bikes. BUTNOOOOOO this kat wanna speed up when i try to pass him therefore my once happy ass was pissed off like someone had just woke me up out of a deep sleep askin me to bring them something to dey job {fustrating-i just wanna zzzz-drivin like a zombie aint safe kids}

SUN SUN SUN = Unnecessary skin baring for some ppl....c'mon now, i know its hotBUT DAMN DAT DONT MEAN GURLIES GOTTA GO ALL MUFFIN-TOP ON US!!!!! Muffins is 'posed to be sweet and hunni, ya shyt AINT SWEET!!!!! FALL BACK HOLMES.

My daily food segement=chix stromboli w/ orange fanta from Biagio's!!!!!!! {Panera Bread aint 'bout nuffin}



Burger KING

BK is the spot for ESU students:)

Last nite after whippin out there to pick up what seems to be chappy's entire closet plus some from hawthorn hall room 521, i was hungry like i have never eaten before (not that hungry but u catch my drift).

I was making my way to the drive thru when what do i feast my eyes on in the parking lot?????

A Big Ass Bird........

A Big Ass Plane.........

Sean Dockery.............

NO SILLY KIDS TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



{Yes my dumb ass was overly excited that my camera was left behind somewhere lookin like the "geico money"}

I glide in BK with the biggest grin i think i could ever have. These guys was lookin at me like 'WTF"....... im lookin like "WTF, yall bikes are too damn clean and i frickin love it!!!!!" i place my order and go over to tell them how much i loooovvvvvveeee there bikes. One kat asks if he knew me from somewhere....i dnt know that much white ppl up here w/ bikes so no u dont 'know' me. But it turns out i said hi to him the last time i was at east stroudsburg......he was, of course, on his bike, and i was in the passenger side of my green '97 honda accord str8 beamin out the window to get a glimpse of ol' boys bikes:) so yes, we 'knew' each other.

we head outside and i admire their bikes wishin i knew what the hell to do with myself. they were soooo shiny and clean and clean and shiny, i died and went to heaven for five minutes, came back and couldnt believe how close i was to them beautiful pieces of machinery.....

Mike, Mike, and Don......I will forever and eternally love them.....

Don let me sit on it:):):):) and i almost didnt get off until he offered to take me around the block....me being me, i said no thanx cuz i dnt know u "like that,like that". i was just happy being able to touch the damn thing!!!!!!

I reluctantly hopped off, and he turned the key and i think all hell broke loose.......i literally thought about how i could get back on and ride the {F} off with this man's bike then my idea was quickly shut dwn when he started burnin rubber!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIKER BOYZ ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

sadly but surely they had to leave me * ride off into the nite * while i was stuck in BK parking lot with my packed up green '97 honda accord and BK cup in tow...........

everyone said its a phase, the whole 'bike thing' but if u really really know me, this shyt aint no phase.........

I LOVE IT!!!!!

April 23, 2009


I wrote the convo in

tried to edit it

next thing i know the whole convo btwn me CLS and "gurlie" is gone!!!!!!!


and im not typin that whole thing over

its funny but im tired from typin and think from this week alone so....sry kids. i cnt tell u ALL my man-endeavors:(


If it isnt love, then I dnt know what is

With all the papers that i literally have coming out my rear end, i havent had time to get on here and write about my experiences since my last endeavor (fake j's little boy). Since last friday, i have ran in a 5k for class of 2012 at phillipsburg,hs n jersey (which is THE ultimate no-no b/c im from frickin easton---big rivalry--oh well,i got a tshirt), hopscotched worms the size of anacondas in the school parking lot, in the driveway, and on the road (i even made up a song to sing while walking to my car so the pain of searching for worms isnt as agonizing)...Been living in the library str8 after work till closing:(

didnt think i would have some adventure in the man-world this week seeing as how im hitting the books hard-end of semester is nearing-but apparently men never fail me so here goes nothing.......

My brother eats junk food like red kool-aid. eevry minute this kat is callin talkin 'bout "can u buy something on your way home?" GOOD GRIEF HOLMES!!!!!!! The money i spend on junk food for this dude per week is getting ridiculous {THATS NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY} Mcdonalds---Gee calls while im on my way to the library askin for food. i say ill think about it. i leave the library and make my way to mcdonalds and i get to the parking lot which is nearly empty with the exception of two cars and my benz cls...Now i was really bout to hit up the drive thru until i deasted my eyes on this lovely piece of machinery:) my ass parks right next to it and admires that new car smell....around easton, i only see 4 benz cls's, a black one, a white one, and two gray joints-all clean as i dunno what. all driven by some white person with the exception of one of the gray ones which features a young blk man. So i take my chances and go inside hoping to do a hi-u have a fly ass car-bye with the owner and be on my dandy way with my 3 double cheeseburgers and 6-piece nuggs (which happen to increased in pricing cuz joint was $6 and change!!!)

Im inside and it turns out the blk dude wanted some ronald mcdonald too. we're waiting to place our order and girlie from the back comes to the register askin if "we're ready to order?'"
FOLLOWING CONVO BTWN ME < cls="Derrick="610.984.I" color="#ff6600">HOODWINKLESTEINS>>>>>>Get a clue kidz....

C is out cuz i got 5% remaining on this battery.

*NOTE*there was some otha words said in convo that arent that inpportant (at least i dnt think so)

April 17, 2009

Where Are They??

First off let me start by saying today was a beautiful day....i even wore a little blk dress w/ my maroon old ppl sweater and blk flats w/ over-the-top gold earings:)Sry no pic-chap got the camera....

after my dreadful ethics class ended at five, the sun was still shining and the birds were still chirpping. I went home to find my momz looking bored messing with some plant to put in her dining room. i myself was just bored all together. *Mind you, i have a bunch of papers to write* So i decide to go buy a bedspread to encourage myself to actually get the cleaning process of my room started. So my journey with my momz in tow took me to Allentown:)Smiley face because there's always motorcycles in Allentown:) Took it to Marshall's. For some reason, no matter what Marshall's one goes to, there's an infinite amount of spanish people in the joint!!!! kids running around all types of willy nilly w/ no sense of how to act. [BLK MOM] 'if you knock somethin down, imma knock YOU down' in the "serious voice" but with that "white ppl" tone-thats how momz always got us, but hell we aint neva act up in no store soooooo. After getting something but not everything of what we were supposed to get, i was feignin for some Red Lobster biscuits. ........

Back on 22 headin up to Lehigh Valley Mall in Whitehall. Then i realized (in my Mya from 'Girlfriends' voice) "oh Hell Noooo,its friday so you know everybody and dey momz withdey daughters baby daddy gonna be all up and thru the mall actin like deres a fashion show goin on." Got my biscuits, headed to the mall. First store i always always hit up first is Champs, even though i know and the ppl who work there know that im not gonna buy anything. Okay,,,walking walking walking Footlocker,next stop......Now for some odd reason, there was these young kats just standing in front of Footlocker like they owned the joint. It was like Footlocker was a cornerstore and dey was holdin down they territory (R.I.P. Bodie)..i walk in, peep the kix then walk out cuz once again {C} is not buying anything that i dont need. Im walkin out being the fly person that i only know how to be, with my fly outfit and one of the thunderkats "protectin dey block" grabs my hand, literally tries to pull me up against him and whisper some bullshit in my ear!!!! HELLOOOOO my man, ur only about 16 years damned old!!!!!! this was his aim:

"excuse me miss, i couldnt help but notice how you are a woman amoungst girls in this place and I wanted to know if you would do me the honor of giving me your number"


he almost had me until i looked at his kix and spotted FAKE J'S!!!!!! How you gonna be standing in front of a legit shoe store like Footlocker with FAKE DAMN J'S...The boy was not only doin dishonor to MJ, but he did a disservice to himself and put himself out there for the ultimate "FallBack Excuse".

The "FallBack Excuse" will be used if:

-thunderkat got FAKE ANYTHING

-says something around the lines of ANY R&B Song EVERYONE would know

-doesnt have car keys

-rolls in a crew of ten deep at any given moment

-has absolutely no respect for women

-wears his fitted to the side

-swears up&down, left&right he IS THE SHIT(which you cnt be if u rockin fake j's)

-has longer hair than you(excluding dreads)

I cant think of anymore but let me know some more "FallBack Excuses".........

My response to the can i get your number and the twelve second conversation following:

"Excuse me sir, but please have some respect"

"baby girl, what respect got to do with anything"(still holding on to my wrist)

"Young Man, how you expect somebody to respect you when you rockin fake j's?"



then he went on to call me a Bougy Bitch..... Did i not just mention RESPECT to this little negro/spanish kats' ass DAMN KATS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LISTEN

******Diane being who she is turned around and smiled cuz you know what, I GOT REAL J's BABYBOY AND YOUR ASS STUCK ROCKIN SOME FLEA MARKET KNOCKOFFS!!!!!!He def need to stop hatin' cuz its not a good look on anybodys part. I went and took that mess to the bank...DEUCES ON HIS ASS AND HIS TOO SHORT CREW!!!!!! Dnt get me started.......

I bounced outta there like i was on top of the world, cuz hell, i was. *SIDENOTE: I need to go to church and stop saying 'hell'* he blew it for himself when he decided to purchase fake kix.........................................

thats all i got for 2day MAKE SURE U CHECK OUT DIVASPEAKTV on youtube and check for Cousin Sassy "



April 16, 2009

Read ^

This book <<<<< "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" written by the hilarious Steve Harvey was recommended to me by a friend who had only read five chapters in the book....Now this girl claims that she hardly ever reads books, so when she refers a good book, it must be good because she's actually reading it. Nonetheless, i went out and bought this book without even opening the inside flap to see what it could have been about. Whatever, i got home and read all the way to chapter seven on the first night, thats how good it was. he gave insight on how men think, what the want, their mechanics, and what women are doing wrong. yes, its true-what women are doing wrong, coming from a man....but i yotlaly dug it because it was new information that was getting processed into my brain as a discussion starter and later on into full blown arguments, but hey thats what life is about---sharing your knowledge and sharing is caring so im sharing this information of a good book that every woman, hell even men should read. Its not gonna kill anyone ( i hope)

At least when you go on a date, and someone asks if you've read any good books lately, you tell 'em about the fabulous Steve Harvey and BAMMMM----u got yourself some conversation....its THAT simple.Yes THAT SIMPLE:)

April 12, 2009


this is the drivers seat of my benz cls 550. while at the new york international car show this windy sunday. it was fun with the exception of ppl bum rushing each other just to get to a damned stationwagon!!! not to be racist but it was the first time in a long time id seen my jewish ppl. living in lakewood brought them out alot-everywhere u turned in lakewood,nj there wassoon kind of synagouge or mosuleum going up.heck we even knew the jewish holidys b/c we'd get school off.i remember when we first moved to easton and a jewish holiday came around,we was souped cuz we thought we had no school---then i remembered we're not in lakewood anymore ToeToe-dog from wizard of oz. also i was very disappointed in how many cuties there werent at the show. it was an absolute disappointment. thats one of the only reasons i attend events like that-in hope of seeing some ballas, takin pix, n seeing cuties!!!! the cars are all fine and dandy but seein one of those cuties step out of a car is the icing on all my cake:) who said lady's cant have fun.

There was a suzuki motorcycle there but i couldnt even get on b/c everybody and they momz was hopin on.....Wax On/Wax Off......

Speaking of Wax.....these kats that do the parking in ny need to get they license!!!!!str8 up. whippin benz's and beamers like they a 98' honda........

Otha den that....everyone should go out to the jacobjavits center and scope out the whips they neva gonna get:) Thats what we did and got some bangin pix out of it.....
"Gone" as in sick as sugar all week due to actual sickness and frickin allergies.....

April 3, 2009

There Their They're

It boggles my mid when i see people not using the correct their,there,or they're. i do make the mistake sometime but i immediately correct myself because its utterly annoying to me and ill end up thinking about it for the time being. And when i edit/proof-read other peoples papers, and see alot of misuse,ill shove in they face because everyone should now know the damn difference between those three damn words---dnt make no sense.

Everybody Hates Chris/The Game bout to start:):):):):)

April 2, 2009

Sunshine and Rain

That's what this week came down to. Every other day was either Sunshine or Rain. Sucky but I still maintained. I was reading my daily dose of Verysmartbrothas.com and those guys are so hilarious. Their recent endeavors came about via standing in line at quiznos behind a 'real gangsta'-which is defined in the post. Then the sexxy Panama Jackson procedes to give us a list of "ungangstaisms". Basically you are not a gangsta if you do at least of one of the things on the list. well im not gonna thru the entire list but the comments to the post really got me......
(my response to comments)

Gangsta's dont read therefore dont go to school so all u kats that be in class tryna act all kool and sick in the waaaay back with no visible notebook to write on but with pen/pencil to shank someone if they breathe at you wrong.......if you are a true gangsta, college,hell any school, is not on your radar (for educational purposes)....You're prolly out somewhere shankin somebody with your ball point pen or very sharpened pencil.

Gangsta's dnt iron their clothes...not true. have you see Cali ppl....they pants make you walk straight. That crease down the middle says it all. Of all things a gangsta can do, who wouldve thought iroing wouldve been one of them.

Which brings me to my next point..Gangstas dont twirl their hair....yea dem kats with the braids or dreads,its prolly really hard to resist but you will most def lose all your gangstability with that move.

And all these kats that be on MySpace with they page pimped out in they gang colors and gang signs, pics with you and your boys holding up your colors and throwing ya'll signs....THAT IS NOT GANGSTA. Fake azz mofo's dnt even know what gangsta mean if they on myspace-point blank-hell on any internet outlet. Gangsta's dnt got time to be seeing how many hits they got unless its on they body (sry guys)......

Here are some more....
-don’t have iPods-unless they steal them. But even then, they don’t download music
-don’t pay car insurance
-don’t have health insurance nor do they get check-ups (medical or dental)
-don’t get the bullets removed
-don’t smile
-don’t buy scented candles
-don’t take baths–showers only
-don’t sign in at the security desk at the lobby of the building where their lawyers/bail bonds-men’s office is located.
-don’t pay parking tickets until AFTER the bench warrant is issued.
-don’t care about the TET.
-don’t file taxes.

But on the real though, this gangsta needs to die down.Its giving and been giving blkmen/folk a bad name. Its pointless and useless and honestly doesnt make any sense. Its like a frat gone horribly horribly wrong- first they start with the hazing then from selling they frat to get they name out to selling all types of illegal mess. {F}ricking up pplz communities and what not....... And im not talkin about how yall dress-except all that color coordination NEEDS to stop-because some gangstas came really dress but what they "do" is only lived for the present.....

Kids im out....Since im not a gangsta cuz i got shyt to read im GONE.

{Listening to Tony Sunshine Mixtape}


***SIDENOTE: i googled 'gangsta' and there is a video on youtube called "how to be a gangsta" (aint THAT some shyt)***